Weekly Weigh-in

Well, what I can I say, I haven't posted one of these it quite a few weeks. I had a rough couple of weeks at the beginning of the month. I could go through all the excuses I gave myself for why I wasn't eating healthy, but in the end none of that matters. The reason I was able to put on so much weight was that I allowed myself to have a  million and one excuses. I know that this is a journey, not only to weigh loss, or a healthy me, but a journey to find myself, and find out how and why I got this way. I have to face my demons, which sometimes is very scary.

In the past the way I've dealt with stress is I ate, and I ate A LOT! I'm currently carrying around my wedding planning stress, my nursing school stress, my money stress, my 1st time mom stress, and my holy crap I have twins stress. I need to face myself head on and call myself out when I'm eating for stress purposes. I need to learn that eating my feeling does not make them go away.

It took a couple of weeks but I finally got back on the wagon, so to speak. I lost those ,gulp, 5 pounds I gained back. It's now been a few weeks and I'm feeling good. I lost an additional 2 pounds this week, bringing my total lost since January to 55.5 pounds now.

I'm sure that I will have my failures again, I just hope they start to become less and less and that they become more spread out.

I wil not let this defeat me again. I have fought my weight many times and time after time I let it win, this time I am in charge and plan to win this battle. I know it's going to be a hard and long battle, but I will win!

Weekly Weigh In

Well, it's been a rough few weeks, but I'm back. Almost 2 weeks ago I lost my motivation and was so sick of being close to losing 50 pounds but never hitting it. I went on a bad 4 day eating binge, it was awful and disgusting. I just couldn't get myself together. After the 4 days I had gained back 3 pounds and felt awful!

I had a hard time re-finding my dedication and drive, but I just kept pushing on, hoping I'd find it along the way. The good news is, I did, I found it! I pushed through and it slowly came back. I feel like I'm in a good spot mentally and for the first time in probably ever, I've found the drive to work out.

I started back up with the C25K, I'm on day 3 on week 4, and I still hate it! I just don't enjoy running and it's not getting any easier, but I just keep reminding myself that I'm not doing this to be able to run a 5k, I'm just doing it to burn calories and lose weight, so even if I'm not able to do each run, I am finishing it and getting in a good 30-35 minute work out.

I've also started adding in more exercise routines. I run every other day and then Monday after my run a did a quick 20 minute yoga session. Then last night I had Cole set up cardio circuits for me. He pushed me, and it made me happy, I wanted to quit, but I hung in there. I did a couple minute sprints before and after each set, then after the circuits we boxed, then I sprinted, and then he had me kick box. Then I put the treadmill on the highest incline and manually pushed it with my legs. It was a hard work out, but it actually felt good to push it that hard.

I actually broke down and bought myself a 15 pound kettle bell. I've been hemming and hawing over it for a while now. Cole finally convinced me to order one the other night, so I look forward to getting in some kettle bell work outs once it comes! 

Now, if you actually made it this far, thanks for reading! I did manage to lose those 3 pounds I had gained, plus I lost an additional 1.8 pounds! This now brings my total lost to 50.8 pounds! I finally hit the 50 pound mark and couldn't be happier! I still have a long way to go, but I'll get there.

Almost Forgot

So a week ago we were at the doctor's and Emma weighed  6 1bs 12.5oz and Carter weighed 7 lbs 6.5 oz., well today Emma weighed 7lbs 15 oz and Carter weighed 8lbs 8 oz. They both gained over a pound in just 7days! Holy crap!