that I don't have! I'm sick of waiting, my patience is wearing very thin. It has been four very long months and to be honest it's starting to take its toll on me. I can't help but wonder will this ever happen? Is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with Cole? Is someone trying to tell me something? I need answers! I can't keep racking my brain. How long will this take? Should we have started sooner? Should we wait? I just don't know, it's all so frustrating. Every month counting down the days, every morning taking my temperature at 5:20. Please I need strength to keep trying. How can something I want be so far out of reach. I've tried it all: thinking negatively, thinking positively, I've even tried not thinking of it at all. But in the end it's the same thing, disappointment. You'd think it would get easier with every month, but in fact it gets harder, much harder.