Thursday, April 12, 2012

Weekly Weigh In

I lost 3.4 pounds this week, which now brings my total lost to 111.2! I finally hit 110+ pounds lost, so I can finally reward myself with a massage. Money is a little tight right now, so I can't do the massage right away, but next time we have a few extra bucks, I'm totally doing it! I figured since I haven't done picture in a while that I would take some last night. So, this is from the beginning (January 2011) and now:
I had to retire my original clothes because they were just much to big!
 I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the changes. I mentally still feel like I did 111.2 pounds ago. I still feel like  that morbidly obese girl and I'm having a hard time getting past that. When I started 15 months ago I was sadly wearing the largest since they carry in most plus size stores. The even sadder thing is that after I had the twins, even the largest size, wouldn't fit. These tan pants were one of the few pairs that actually fit me in the beginning.
 And these black pants fits were to small in the beginning. In fact this is me wearing them 3-4 months into the diet after losing some weight.
 And these are the brown capri's I bought last April for the twin's Welcoming. I remember being so excited to fit into them because they were 2 sizes smaller then when I started. Now they sit in the much-to-big-to-wear pile.
The part I'm having the hardest part with is as of 2 weeks ago I was wearing the smallest size they carry in most plus size stores. I know this is great news, but it messes with my mind the most. For the past 10 plus years I've only shopped at stores specifically made for plus size women. Now, that those stores aren't an option, I have no clue wear to shop. I have no idea what my style is, because for so long I haven't really had any options, they only make large, flow-y clothes for plus size women. I still feel like that plus size women in side, so I still feel so out of place walking into a normal store. I still feel like everyone is looking at me thinking "why are you in this store? Nothing here will fit you!" The worst part is I'm still to embarrassed to try anything on or even look at the clothing racks in a normal store. I will now walk in and look at shoes, or accessories in normal stores, but still feel so out of place looking at clothes.

I know if will just take a while for my head to adjust to the weight loss. I'm happy I've made it this far, but I know I still have a long way to go!