Happy New Years

Hoping everyone has a safe and happy New Years!

Four

Yup, that's the number of times Grace has peed on the potty! I know you guys must just be on the edge of your seats. Sorry we're just so excited! Grace has been doing such a good job and she loves sitting on the potty! I don't quite think Grace understands the whole concept yet, but she's making progress.

Continuing The Journey

Well, last month, wasn't the month either. (If you have no idea what I am talking about you should probably read this and this.) I was lucky enough to get my period on Christmas, Merry Freakin' Christmas! I went to the OB today and had some blood work done and picked up my prescription for Clomid. If I do ovulate, I'll call the OB, and she'll then call in a prescription for Progestrone.

This whole process has my emotions all over the place. I'm excited to be getting help, I feel like we're doing something to move in the right direction. Yet at the same time, I feel so sad. I wish that we didn't have to take this next step. I wish we were already pregnant.

It sucks to have to go to the OB's office and sit amongst pregnant women and new moms. It just feels like a constant reminder of what I want, another baby. I know we are very fortunate and lucky to have Grace. I love her to pieces, but having one child does not make the pain of wanting another any less. In fact having Grace is a reminder of how amazing having children is. I want this next child just as much as I wanted Grace.

I feel like such a ball of emotions. I hate the time between getting my period and starting to try each month, it always feels so static, I feel like I'm doing nothing to help the cause.

I hate that I feel like this whole thing needs to be a secret, like something we need to keep private. It makes it feel shameful, like I'm broken, like people will look at me differently if they know. It's hard. I wish I wasn't so sensitive, that every comment didn't sting. People don't know better but the "When you having another one?" or "One's enough, isn't it!". Any comment about having or not having kids feels like a kick in the gut. I wish I was stronger, that I wouldn't have a pity party every time I hear about someone else we know getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong I'm more than thrilled for those around us who are having babies, but at the same time I'm jealous.

It sucks. The amount of time we've been trying I could have already been pregnant and had a baby. We thought we'd at least have a baby by Spring if it took us a while to conceive...man were we so wrong. Now I'm hoping to have a baby by next Christmas.

I know I just feel like I'm going on and on, and I'm all "woe is me." I know that there are many people whose situation is a lot worse then ours, but for this moment, this day, I'm allowing myself to say "This sucks!" and "I'm sad!" Today I'm allowed to wallow in self pity. Tomorrow I'll be hopeful and cheery and I'll say "This is the month!" But for today, I'm wallowing...

Christmas Take 2

We had Cole's immediate family over to celebrate Christmas with them. We had such a great time!

Grace playing with her new toys before company arrived.

Yes, my livingroom looks like a daycare.

Grace sitting in her doll bin.

Opening her present from Nana and Papa C. (It's a wagon!)

Opening her present from Auntie Cassie.

Table and chairs!

Snuggling  with Daddy in her new blanket from Uncle Andy.

Sitting on our new grill! Yay!

Grace and Auntie Cassie.

Dinner Table.

Family around the table.

Trying to wink like Auntie Cassie.

Sitting with Uncle Andy.

In her new wagon!

She loved her wagon so much  that she fell asleep in it.

It Happened Again!

Grace peed on the potty! Go Gracie!

Christmas

We woke Grace up super early Christmas morning and she was not happy.

Once Cole showed her that Santa had came, she was much better.

"ooohh!"

Once she got the hang of it, she just ripped through the presents.

Gracie wanted to give Lily one of the cookies Santa brought for her.

Lily tried to take it even through she already had a toy in her mouth.

Grace loved her kitchen and began playing with it before we finished unwrapping it.

Chef Gracie (Grace kept her apron and hat on the rest of the time we opened presents.)

"Ooohh"

Since the gate was opened, Grace took every opportunity to grab the ornaments in between presents.

Grace got a baby and loved her!

Then she put her in the oven!

Dr. Grace

Grace all dressed up to go to the Brennans'.

Grace:"Kitty" Jogger:"Don't even think about it!"

Cousins.

Grace and Cole's cousin Siobhan.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Christmas Eve

We had a great Christmas Eve. I finished up my baking and then we got ready and headed to Cole's Aunt's house for the usual Christmas Eve festivites.  We had a great time with everyone.

Trying to get a picture of me and Miss Grace.

Trying to get a family picture.

Kisses.

Lily wanted to get in the pictures.

Grace with Nana.

Grace touching all of Carol's decorations.

Grace opening up some presents.

Grace and Auntie Cassie.

Grace in her pj's playing with her presents.

Grace kept getting tinsel stuck on her feet.

Auntie Cassie, Grace, and Nana.

Grace loves Auntie Carol's doll bench.

Comparison of last year and this years Christmas Eve pictures.